More people would learn from their mistakes if they were not so busy denying them.

Mar 14, 2022

Giving and receiving feedback seems like hell on earth for many.

Our education has taught us modesty as a virtue. And also that it is best to give a socially desirable answer in order to:

  • - not to fall out of tune
  • - not to cause irritation that will take its revenge on us in the long run
  • - avoid arguments

In a nutshell, we do everything we can to 'fit in'.

Feedback conversations are crucial conversations because the stakes are high and emotions are hard to suppress.

The first step towards a mature feedback conversation is: Recognising that our behaviour is the cause of suboptimal cooperation.

Automatic reactions are that we justify the behaviour in order to achieve our goals. That we are misunderstood. That the feedback provider sees it wrong. So what really happens is that we talk away our pain instead of acknowledging it.

Our inner saboteur makes us too hard on ourselves. Actually, we know we are wrong, but we are not allowed to admit it to the outside world. And therefore also not to ourselves!

Talk about an inner struggle. Do you feel it too? Be mild to yourself. Name your feelings instead of suppressing them. It will make you an even more beautiful person.

For a personal conversation about how you can help yourself, please contact us!

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