Stay or Go?

Hello Frieda,

I ‘m coping with a difficult question. 

You know that my employer's situation is rather precarious because, since the second lockdown, employees are asked to work alternately, with intermediate periods of technical unemployment. This has a negative impact on their payslip. For some of my team members this is starting to weigh heavily. They indicate to be looking for another job in sectors that are less affected by Covid-19. Last week, my best employee resigned.

I myself have been contacted by a headhunter. Since it’s not bad to know your 'market value', I started talking to a 'booming' company that has a vacancy similar to my current role, that of quality manager.

They made me a job offer, but I'm not sure if I would take it.

One moment I think 'do', the next I think 'stay where you are'.

I love my job and find my team a blessing to work with. Just like for myself, I have always focused on their cooperation and personal development. So they are sought after on the job market. But how long are they going to stay in these uncertain times?

And how sure can I be that my employer will survive?

The doubt makes me feel numb, I feel paralysed and I can't think clearly.

What would you recommend?


Dear Insuspendo,

Thank you for this confidential question. My lips are sealed!

It feels awkward when doubts take over: to dub, to hesitate, to ponder and to weigh, to be thrown back and forth. It can literally take your sleep.

Not at least when it comes to an important decision such as where and how you are going to spend the next few years professionally.

You know me well enough to realise that it is not my intention to make the choice for you. 

Instead: I ask you only one essential question:

Are you really attracted to the new job, or are you walking away from the existing uncertainty?

Do you feel it? Now we are getting closer to your inner motivation. 

1/ What will you be able to realise in your new job? Will you be able to focus on development, both personally and professionally, something that I read is very important to you? What emotion comes to you at this moment?

2/ Do you feel comfortable with the values and norms, the rules of conduct and the culture of the company offering you a job? If you don't know what their organisational culture is, then you better ask. If you face an unpleasant feeling, I think you know the solution....

3/ What control options do you get in your new job? Are they looser or firmer than they are now? What are you prepared to tie up or give up?

As you can read in my blog about Gravity or Attraction, I questioned the 3 conditions that measure your degree of attraction and motivation.

Hopefully you are now one step closer to a decision that feels right. 

Do you want one more ultimate tip? Always listen to your heart! Definitely when head and heart give opposite signals.

I truly hope this answer gives you a sense of relief!


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